Turning 30

I want to be lost before I turn 30; lost in beauty, creation, love, and abundance.

30 is just a number. It represents a transition point, from youth to adult from controlled to controller. From renter to owner, child to parent.

From courage to indifference. From individuality to conformity.

To me, turning 30 represents having the courage to exercise one's agency and accepting the consequences of doing so. It is a period when you have more freedom than in childhood without the restrictions of adulthood. What we mourn when we turn 30 is the death of a liberating sense of ignorance which is replaced by restricting sensibilities.

I have turned 30 before, I can be turning 30 now and I have no guarantee of turning 30 in the future.

I hope to have the courage to be perpetually turning 30.